Fridays are fun days, and what better way to start the day off, especially with the economic situation we’re going through, than with some jokes.

I saw a bank that said if offered 24 Hour Banking.” But I didn’t go in. I didn’t have that much time.

A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.

The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

A woman proudly told her friend, “I’m responsible for making my husband a millionaire.” “Well what was he before he married you?” the friend asked. “A billionaire.”

Someone told his three sons when he sent them to university: ’I feel it’s my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it; as a token, please put $1,000 each of you into my coffin when I die.’ And so it happened. The sons became a doctor, a lawyer, and a financial planner, each very successful financially. When they had to see their father in the coffin one day, they remembered his wish. First it was the doctor who put ten $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased. Than came the lawyer, who put a $1,000 bill there. Finally, it was the heart-broken financial planner’s turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his cheque book, wrote a cheque for $3,000, put it into his father’s coffin, and took the $2,000 cash.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.

The stock market was in a terrible state. One day the Sensex was unchanged and they called it a rally……

Q: How do you get a broker down from a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: In these busy market times, how can you get the attention of your broker?
A: Say, “Hey, waiter!” (he’s waitin always to get the price…)

There are primarily 3 different types of investors who post on the message boards.
1. Those who don’t know anything: approx. 10%
2. Those who know a little: approx. 10%
3. Those who don’t realize they don’t know anything: approx. 80%

The best time to buy anything is last year

Hard work
As long as my boss keeps pretending that I am earning a lot, I go on pretending that I work hard.

Borrowing
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don’t expect it back

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